So, This Is Where I Begin.....??

Let me explain the meaning of this blog.....

I am both a trainee hypnotherapist & psychotherapist, AND in therapy myself. It generally IS a good thing to sort your own head and stuff out before you mess with other peoples'. Just saying. Some people out there call themselves counselor's and have more personal issues than your most average therapy client ever does! It is so dangerous when people do this...but anyway, rant over. Ooops, I get so passionate about stuff!! I digress....


In the process of therapy, when I 'hit' the itty gritty bit, ie very recently, OMG I feel as if every nerve cell has electrodes running through them, my emotions feel so raw, and it seems as if I could spill over (literally) into a huge drippy oozy mess on the floor in front of you. I had no illusions therapy would be easy - I know I have my fair share of demons to exorcise, but I had no idea it wold hurt THIS much! 

For what it's worth, I'm proud of myself. I still get up, make the tea, wake the other half up, clean, tidy, study and shop, and all while feeling mighty ill the last few months, progressively so, with a growing cyst structure (they think!!) in my ''pelvis area - somewhere''. Yep, that's right - they have seen it and measured it on U/S - 5cm x 4cm x 3cm - but have not got a clue where it actually is, what it is attached to, and indeed what the thing itself actually is! It needs to come out of me obviously. It is making me feel ill, in more pain and generally feel like death warmed up as each day goes on. The outpatient apt on 14 Feb seems a lifetime away, several other Dr's have advised I go down A+E to get sorted quickly but I am stubborn, and again I digress.....

This blog will not only be part of my ongoing autobiography (!) but I want it to document my highs & lows in therapy, the answers, questions and feelings I unearth, how I cope, what elped and what didn't. I think it is important that I journal this, as it will help me to help others when I am a therapist in a much better way than a textbook could. I wish to record my thoughts during my training, the journey through this alone will be naturally up n down like a roller coaster. All for the greater good of course! 
Finally I feel it is important for me to note down my symptoms, my ill health, what happens at hospital, what they find, and how it hopefully resolves. If it isn't, then I will note how I find coping with it, what works, and what doesn't.

Let this be a place that I can share with others who may care to read it. If this helps anyone, then that is even better. At the very least I will be helping myself, which in turn will help many others in the future when I am a therapist. Until tomorrow then...... xx