Well, it seems to me that 24 hours in a day simply is not enough! Since my diagnosis in March, I have had more tests, another op, different treatments to try, and which have so far failed, I have more appointments booked with specialists, SIGH.....it is very hard to be cheerful with this going on all the time, constant pain of various piercing levels.....BUT!!! On a very much more positive and lighter note, my work and my studying is going really good.
I have had many people who liked my method of hypnotherapy, my style etched onto the longer-standing traditional methods. My voice it seems, has a soothing, hypnotic and relaxing quality of it's own, which I must say is rather super handy for this line of work haha!!
Covering aspects of psychotherapy now in my studying and research, and this is a rather heavier, hard to digest subject at times. It is not the methods, the schools of thought, the areas of expertise, but indeed the amount of suffering that people go through sometimes to require a psychotherapist is, just mind bendedly surreal. The amount of childhood and adult abuse that one person, just one average person, sometimes goes through, yet survives against all the odds, is sitting in the therapist's office week by week, committed to healing, understanding and grieving, feeling for the first time, still holding onto so much pain that I didn't believe one person could contain......It sure says something about the human spirit to survive and to thrive.
This person will have people around in her family life who still torment and bully her, who belittle, push the familiar buttons, trip her up at every possible chance, discreetly and at times not so. This person knows what she is up against, but still she fights in the weekly sessions to find the inner strength to cut the cords, and be independent AND free for the first time in her life. This isn't easy of course, all she has known is this. Her choices in husbands reflect the same, although a majority of that is a well hidden secret.
She is still vulnerable, still trying to fight her way out of the traps and chains, struggling to breathe.....but she WILL do it. When I hear what she has gone through, I sometimes do find it difficult to hold back some emotion. I am only human too, and it seems illogical that a person went through terrors like her, has spent over 25 years fighting her family, strangers, the system - all so she could one day be heard, rescued, helped and healed. Why did it have to take until she was 30 odd years old, and a big brave step on her part? How could all those people let her suffer so?
I feel privileged when I help people like her, as these are the true survivors of life. Also one of the nicest, caring, sincere people too. All that pain, ugly abuse and suffering - yet still such empathy and love in a person. How can THAT be even possible? I find it amazing, and although emotionally difficult it is also a learning curve for me also.
Hypnotherapy is not the best choice in these situations, as the fear of loss of control can overwhelm the client and, although it may have its place when the client is healed and fully integrated, to put them in another potentially vulnerable position right now, is, in my opinion, not ethical and not what is best for the client.
On the side lines, I have been keeping myself in relaxing past-times and crafts I adore. I have been making clothes, both designing and sewing. I also have been doing some mixed media art on canvas that has now progressed to our hallway and above our fire! If the other half likes them then that makes me feel satisfied with my work. We all are, after all, our own worst critic! I have been designing fashion mood boards, sketches for a suit and skirt, designs and ideas for my potential big idea of jacket, waistcoat and skirt - a suit for me, individual, smart but feminine.....yep, wish me luck on that, I may very well need it! I find music a soothing experience, team that up with a hot bubbly bath and well, all my worries, tension and concerns melt away into the bath water!
It has been a tense, difficult time the last few months, and may continue to be for some time. While I have my work, my research, my art and my sewing, my music, good food and my deep hot bubbly baths, I will be just fine. Life after all, is accepting it for what it is at any given moment, and taking the rough with the smooth.
Life is a journey, just take it step by step x
